Did You Cut Your Hair?

Elina a year ago

...is a phrase that needs to be officially deleted from the English language. Instead it should say: Did you have your hair cut by someone? Or better yet: Did you have someone professional or someone else who knows how to properly cut hair cut your hair? (Just to make no room for misunderstandings)

It is phrases like "Did you cut your hair?" being tossed about carelessly by adults that causes children to think that they probably should cut their hair, since every time they have had a haircut people ask them if THEY CUT THEIR HAIR.

Parents: In the future when some one asks your child if they cut their hair, it is your duty to interrupt and say: "No, absolutely not! Little Johnny/Jane is not allowed to cut their own hair. In fact we, his mom and dad, do not even cut our own hair. _____ (fill in the blank) cut Johnny's/Jane's hair."

Elina cut her hair yesterday. Five inches on the side of her head, above her ear. This comes only two months after Isak had a go on the opposite side and left a half inch tuft on the top of her head right at the middle part. (The portrait in a post below shows the "after" look)

I know, I know it is only hair. And I try not to emphasize looks too much with our kids, especially the girls. It sickens me how much attention is paid to looks in our society. Focusing on being cute and well-dressed gives kids a lop sided sense of self worth and the world, and they will be far too inclined to plunge into depression in life whenever they don't look as they think they ought. So I focus on other things to compliment, the things that matter: kindness, smarts, patience, selflessness, hard work, creativity, humor, talents etc.

That said: Elina has the most gorgeous hair on planet earth. Perfect ringlets that are golden and shimmering. And the more windblown they are the more beautiful they become. She is the only one I know who can go out in the Oklahoma wind and look even better for it. But I am not mourning the loss of her hair solely because of its beauty.

Elina has since age 6 months twirled and pulled on her hair at the sides. She does it absentmindedly, sort of, but manages to get a chunk daily. It is called trichotillomania. She also fits the term trichofagia since 6 months of age, which I am told she will outgrow, but in the meantime it is a huge concern. The fact that her hair two months ago was LONG on the sides was such an amazing accomplishment. Curly hair takes four times as long to grow long since it spirals on its way. And when it is being pulled out routinely it obviously takes even longer to grow. But the longer it is the less she pulls on it because we can braid it, pull it up and it is generally not as "pullable" Elina-style.

I totally lost my cool when I discovered Elina with my sewing scissors (I sewed a Princess Leia dress for Elina yesterday) and found blond lock after blond lock littered on the floor, along with chunks from Annia's head (she has a few choice bald spots now).

Elina cried when I had to trim several inches off the back of her hair and round off a new hair style. "Don't cut very much, Mamma!" she pleaded. "I am cutting as little as I can! But why did you cut your hair so much if you don't want short hair?" "Because I am a little child! And I don't understand anything."